the more i think about things, the deeper the thoughts flow. the're like a neverending tunnel that curves and forks and changes directions in a split second. ive also realized, the deeper i go into these thoughts, the more they hurt and tremble my soul. i want to put what i see into words, but i cant find the right ones, and i want to put them onto canvas, but all the colors in the world couldnt capture the light. and when i think about that, i think about, maybe its not the words or the colors, maybe it me. maybe I'M not good enough to put it into words, or put it on a canvas. and thats when i start to doubt myself, and then i start to doubt that i will ever amount to anything. i think i am a second rate artist, who was told she was so good all these years, and just now realized they lied.